What Does This Button Do? > Anti-psychotics

Well the men in white coats finally caught me. Locked me up in the psych ward. I got this eerie feeling somebody was out to get me and I left a few disconcerting notes on my door.

It's worth the excruciating boredom just to hear "I believe in the power of Jesus Christ. He can stop bullets, you know." delivered with a speech impediment. Thank you, literal retard. I wish I could have delivered the full wham bammy to your face (and he has down syndrome!) and not harbored it all in but I had to live with you for a few more weeks. All I could come up with was "Wow man. Just like The Matrix." and I immediately wished I had said "Wow man. He's, like, in the coding of the Matrix itself." but the antipsychotics had dulled my wits. The man thought HE was Jesus. Good thing I didn't find out until after he had left for another hospital (one that uses electroshock therapy) or I would have had a field day.

I also nearly got attacked. Some woman tells me I have a half-sister. I tell her no and she tells me she slept with my retarded brother. A few days later she tells me if I ever hit her again she was going to hit me back. I say "Yes ma'am sorry ma'am" but it wasn't enough... She goes and sits in her corner at meal time still uttering threats and we decided we should probably tell the nurse. Nurse goes over there and she goes straight for the throat. Could have been me. Code white! A bunch of guys come and drag her out... Next day she's walking around again with the rest of us. She didn't go after anybody else... Of course she just locks on to me.

Anyway... The antipsychotics. They make me lethargic. Slow and lethargic. And fat.

Fuck 'em I don't need 'em.

Am I more focused? Hm... I don't think so, really. But perhaps if I were somebody who actually needed them...

This crazy is a little bit too grounded in reality. Oh there's people out to get me. Oh I'm as holy as I think I am. Oh it's real. This thing is real. You can't make this loony think he's loony.

Quite frankly I'm a little insulted they think I even need to be on them. But I suppose whatever conceivable unreasonable situation that could land in my lap is going to land in my lap...

You should see all the unreasonable people in this unreasonable situation. The doctor tells me I couldn't possibly know what the ketamine is doing to my body because ketamine is an anesthetic and people study for five years to know about anesthesia. I made a break for it once and ran to the grocery store to guzzle robotussin. He asked me why I told them what I did and I said I wanted to be honest. He tells me but breaking out to begin with wasn't honest. I don't even need to say anything just look at the man. I don't need to but I'm gonna: "Lowsy drug user thinks he knows anything about what he's doing. Thinks he's honest he can't be honest he's a drug user. As if he thinks he's an honest drug user who knows what he's doing to his body. Impossible!"

If they're trying to break me it isn't working. I'm calm I'm calm. I'm... I'm zen. I'm feeling really zen. Yessir zen as can be.

I lost my apartment. Got no place to go back to so I'll have to move back in with my parents. I can't do that... All you need to do to get in is break the glass on the front door. The lock is essentially just decoration. So I'm'a stay here for awhile. I took pillows from home and I got my mom's laptop with Civilization 3 installed on it. I'm comfy now, I'm fine. I can do the whole show from here. I'm fine here.

I can't leave now they'll rape and torture me to death. Don't discharge me yet I'll be a goner...